A good friend of mine asked me this morning if I had advice for her graduating son. What a wonderful thing to be asked. So this is for my friend Lisa and her son Robert.
I want to start by saying I am probably not the right person to give you advice. I have made so many mistakes in my life that my children could fill a book with them. Actually, they probably have. In a group chat somewhere. With amazing memes.
But here I am anyway. And here you are. So let me share a few things I have learned. Mostly the hard way.
The World Looks Scary Right Now
I know what you are walking into. I read the same headlines you do. AI is changing everything. Wars are burning in places that feel both far away and too close. Our politics have become so mean that family dinners now require a referee. The planet is warming. People are tired. Really tired.
And now everyone is looking at you like you are supposed to fix it.
That is a lot of pressure. I want to tell you something that might help, even if it sounds strange.
The world has been scary before.
My parents grew up hiding under desks during nuclear drills. Their parents lived through a Great Depression and a World War. Before that, there were plagues that killed millions. And yet. And yet. People kept falling in love. They kept having babies. They kept planting gardens and writing songs and building homes.
I am not saying your fears are small. They are real. But so is hope. Both things can be true at the same time.
The Noise Is Not Normal
Here is something that might actually be new about your moment. The noise.
When I was young, we had three TV channels. Now you have infinite channels in your pocket. All of them are competing for your attention. All of them know exactly which buttons to push in your brain. They are very good at it.
This noise does something to us. It keeps our bodies in a state of low-grade panic. Our hearts beat a little faster. Our thoughts race a little more. We feel tired but cannot sleep. We feel connected but somehow alone.
I feel it too. We all do. Nobody escapes this easily.
So my first piece of advice is simple. Stop.
I do not mean forever. I mean right now. Today. This week. This month if you can swing it.
Take a Gap Something
Maybe you can take a gap year. That would be wonderful. But I know that is not possible for everyone. Money is real. Bills are real. I get it.
So maybe take a gap month. Or a gap week. Or even a gap hour.
Turn off your phone. Go outside. Sit somewhere quiet. Let your nervous system calm down. Let your thoughts slow to a pace you can actually follow.
I know this sounds too simple. But simple is not the same as easy. In a world designed to keep you scrolling, choosing stillness is an act of rebellion.
Be Careful Who You Listen To
Here is an awkward truth. Most of us adults are a little lost right now too.
We are swimming in the same confusing waters you are. Some of us are pretending we know what we are doing. Some of us have given up pretending. But very few of us have it all figured out.
So be careful whose advice you take. Including mine.
Look for people who admit they are still learning. Look for people who ask questions instead of just giving answers. Look for people who seem calm. Not people who seem certain. There is a big difference.
Read Old Books
If you want wisdom that has been tested, look backward.
I am not saying old is always better. Some old ideas were terrible. But some ideas have survived centuries because they touch something true in us. They have outlasted the noise of their own times.
I could give you a reading list, but your list should be different from mine. What I can tell you is that the authors who helped me most were not writing about today. They were writing about forever.
Viktor Frankl wrote about finding meaning in the worst places. Charles Dickens wrote about poverty and kindness. Henrik Ibsen wrote about honesty with ourselves. John Steinbeck wrote about ordinary people with extraordinary dignity. Marshall Rosenberg wrote about listening without judgment.
These people are not on social media. Most of them are not even alive anymore. But their words still ring true. That is saying something.
Find the Voice Inside You
Here is the thing about advice. Even good advice. It can only take you so far.
At some point, you have to look inside yourself. You have to ask what you actually want. Not what your parents want. Not what the algorithm wants. Not what some guy writing a blog post wants.
What do you want?
This is harder than it sounds. We are trained to look outside for answers. But the most important answers are already in you. They are just quiet. Too quiet for us to hear when the noise is so loud.
That is why the stillness matters. That is why the old books matter. They clear space for your own voice to speak.
You Will Be Okay
I do not know what the future holds. Nobody does. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.
But I believe in you. Not because I know you. Because I have seen what humans can do when they stop long enough to remember who they are.
We are creative. We are kind. We are stubborn in the best ways. We build things. We fix things. We find each other in the dark.
You are part of that story now. The next chapter is yours to write.
Take a breath. Turn off the noise. Listen for your own wisdom.
Then go build something beautiful.
