The Zoo Years<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
I heard it often in the summer of 1986, when I was sixteen and working at the Los Angeles Zoo. Life wasn’t easy then. I had failed my freshman year and was working three part-time jobs against school rules just to stay afloat and help my folks do the same. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But the Zoo became my sanctuary. For three formative years, I helped families climb onto elephant and camel rides\u2014the smell of hay, dust rising from the pens, the California sun baking my legs. Every so often, I would have to jump off the platform and grab a wheelbarrow and shovel to clear the path from the animals’ droppings. The crowd always found that amusing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That job remains my favorite ever, because it gave me belonging when I needed it most. And always in the background, looping endlessly from a weathered speaker, was Teach Your Children<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Teach your children well, At the time, I didn’t grasp the meaning. But the words planted themselves deep inside me, waiting to bloom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When Crosby, Stills, and Nash released Teach Your Children<\/em> in 1970, America was divided. The Vietnam War raged, civil rights struggles pressed forward, and young people clashed with parents who had survived Depression and war. The song was written as a bridge: a reminder that wisdom must be passed down, and compassion must flow back up. Parents are asked to teach, but children are also asked to forgive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We are all, always, teachers and students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That message still resonates. We, too, live in divided times. Yet the song’s call is timeless: to teach with love, to listen with compassion, to break the cycle of resentment and choose understanding instead.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n When I think about my father’s generation, I see men shaped by survival and sacrifice. They led with structure, discipline, and authority\u2014not out of cruelty, but out of a deep desire to protect their families from chaos. Their world demanded it. They gave their children stability in uncertain times, often at great personal cost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My own father had little time for me in those years, hustling to keep our lower-middle-class family afloat. Yet now I see that even in absence, he was teaching\u2014through perseverance, through sacrifice, through the relentless work of giving his children a better chance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But as Teach Your Children<\/em> reminds us, each generation is both teacher and student. Our generation of fathers has been given the opportunity to evolve. Where our fathers leaned on paternal authority, many of us are learning to lean on presence and partnership. We are discovering that the role of a father is not to mold children into a fixed little versions of themselves, but to create space for them to self-actualize\u2014to grow into their fullest selves<\/strong> without the constraints of control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This shift does not dishonor the men who came before us. It builds on them. It acknowledges their sacrifice while embracing a broader truth: that love does not need hierarchy to be strong, and that guidance is most powerful when paired with listening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And feed them on your dreams, Abraham Maslow, writing in the same era that Crosby, Stills, and Nash sang their anthem, described the pinnacle of human growth as self-actualization\u2014the point at which a person realizes their deepest potential, guided not by fear or control but by curiosity, love, and purpose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The fathers of my father’s generation emphasized survival, discipline, and structure\u2014needs closer to the base of Maslow’s hierarchy. But evolution calls us upward. Our task as fathers today is not merely to protect our children’s survival, but to nourish their wholeness. To help them climb toward self-actualization, where they can discover who they truly are and live out of that freedom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In this sense, fatherhood itself is evolving\u2014from guarding the perimeter to cultivating the garden. From giving answers to making space for questions. From enforcing conformity to empowering individuality.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n And yet, even here, the song reminds us: children must also teach us. They show us new ways of being human, ways we could not have imagined on our own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not long after those Zoo years, I met the love of my life\u2014a Norwegian girl who believed in me before I fully believed in myself. Loving her gave me direction. She has been my partner for 34 years now, grounding me and supporting me toward the best version of myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My daughter, now 33, and my son, 28, have taught me as much as I ever taught them\u2014lessons of resilience, creativity, humor, and love. Watching them become who they are has been the most humbling and rewarding education of my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So today, I want to pause and give thanks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To my father: thank you for the example you set in sacrifice and work. Even when it didn’t look like teaching, it was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To my wife: thank you for believing in me when I was still stumbling forward, for holding me steady, and for teaching me how love can remake a life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To my children: thank you for your laughter, your honesty, and your courage. You have been my greatest teachers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nearly 40 years after those Zoo days, whenever Teach Your Children<\/em> comes on, I am carried back to that hot summer of 1986\u2014dust in the air, camels shifting restlessly, my young self starting to believe he might have a place in the world. But I am also carried forward, into gratitude for the life I have built, the lessons passed down and learned in return, and the enduring love of family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Music has a way of collapsing time. One song can remind us who we were, where we’ve been, and what matters most now. Teach Your Children<\/em> reminds me that none of us are finished\u2014that every generation has wisdom to offer and forgiveness to extend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If we can teach love, and be humble enough to learn it, then we will have taught our children well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Think of a song from your youth that still echoes in your heart. What does it teach you now that you couldn’t have heard back then? And how might its message help you honor the past while guiding the future\u2014for your children, your parents, or yourself?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Varig kj\u00e6rlighet til familien<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Musikk har en m\u00e5te \u00e5 bli mer enn lyd p\u00e5. En sang kan v\u00e6re en tidsmaskin, som tar oss tilbake til stedene der vi f\u00f8rst h\u00f8rte den. En sang kan v\u00e6re et speil, som reflekterer forholdene som formet oss. Og noen ganger blir en sang en b\u00f8nn\u2014en som strekker seg p\u00e5 tvers av generasjoner og minner oss om hva som virkelig betyr noe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For meg er den sangen Teach Your Children<\/em> av Crosby, Stills og Nash.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Jeg h\u00f8rte den ofte sommeren 1986, da jeg var seksten og jobbet i Los Angeles Zoo. Livet var ikke lett da. Jeg hadde str\u00f8ket i f\u00f8rste klasse p\u00e5 videreg\u00e5ende og jobbet tre deltidsjobber\u2014mot skolens regler\u2014bare for \u00e5 holde hodet over vannet og hjelpe familien min \u00e5 gj\u00f8re det samme.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Men dyreparken ble mitt fristed. I tre formende \u00e5r hjalp jeg familier opp p\u00e5 elefant- og kamelridene\u2014lukten av h\u00f8y, st\u00f8v som steg fra innhegningene, den kaliforniske solen som stekte beina mine. Innimellom m\u00e5tte jeg hoppe ned fra plattformen og hente en trilleb\u00e5r og en spade for \u00e5 rydde vekk dyrenes etterlatenskaper. Publikum syntes alltid det var morsomt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Den jobben forblir min favoritt, fordi den ga meg tilh\u00f8righet da jeg trengte det mest. Og alltid i bakgrunnen, spilt p\u00e5 repeat fra en sliten h\u00f8yttaler, var Teach Your Children<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Teach your children well, Den gangen forsto jeg ikke meningen. Men ordene plantet seg dypt i meg, og ventet p\u00e5 \u00e5 blomstre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Da Crosby, Stills og Nash ga ut Teach Your Children<\/em> i 1970, var Amerika delt. Vietnamkrigen raste, borgerrettskampen presset fremover, og unge mennesker kolliderte med foreldre som hadde overlevd depresjon og krig. Sangen var skrevet som en bro: en p\u00e5minnelse om at visdom m\u00e5 f\u00f8res videre, og medf\u00f8lelse m\u00e5 flyte tilbake. Foreldre blir bedt om \u00e5 l\u00e6re, men barna blir ogs\u00e5 bedt om \u00e5 tilgi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Vi er alle, alltid, l\u00e6rere og elever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Det budskapet klinger fremdeles sant. Vi lever ogs\u00e5 i delte tider. Likevel er sangens kall tidl\u00f8st: \u00e5 l\u00e6re med kj\u00e6rlighet, \u00e5 lytte med medf\u00f8lelse, \u00e5 bryte bitterhetens sirkel og velge forst\u00e5else i stedet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n N\u00e5r jeg tenker p\u00e5 min fars generasjon, ser jeg menn formet av overlevelse og offer. De ledet med struktur, disiplin og autoritet\u2014ikke av grusomhet, men av et dypt \u00f8nske om \u00e5 beskytte familien mot kaos. Deres verden krevde det. De ga barna sine stabilitet i urolige tider, ofte til stor personlig pris.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Min egen far hadde lite tid til meg i de \u00e5rene, opptatt med \u00e5 holde v\u00e5r lavere middelklassefamilie flytende. Men n\u00e5 ser jeg at selv i frav\u00e6r underviste han\u2014gjennom utholdenhet, gjennom oppofrelse, gjennom det n\u00e5del\u00f8se arbeidet med \u00e5 gi barna sine en bedre sjanse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Men som Teach Your Children<\/em> minner oss p\u00e5: hver generasjon er b\u00e5de l\u00e6rer og elev. V\u00e5r generasjon av fedre har f\u00e5tt muligheten til \u00e5 utvikle seg. Der v\u00e5re fedre lente seg p\u00e5 autoritet, l\u00e6rer mange av oss n\u00e5 \u00e5 lene oss p\u00e5 tilstedev\u00e6relse og partnerskap. Vi oppdager at en fars rolle ikke er \u00e5 forme barna til sm\u00e5 versjoner av seg selv, men \u00e5 skape rom for at de kan selvrealisere\u2014vokse til sitt fulle potensial uten kontrollens begrensninger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dette skiftet van\u00e6rer ikke mennene som kom f\u00f8r oss. Det bygger p\u00e5 dem. Det anerkjenner deres offer, samtidig som det omfavner en st\u00f8rre sannhet: at kj\u00e6rlighet ikke trenger hierarki for \u00e5 v\u00e6re sterk, og at veiledning er mest kraftfull n\u00e5r den parres med lytting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And feed them on your dreams, Abraham Maslow, som skrev i samme tid som Crosby, Stills og Nash sang sin hymne, beskrev toppen av menneskelig vekst som selvrealisering\u2014punktet der et menneske innser sitt dypeste potensial, ledet ikke av frykt eller kontroll, men av nysgjerrighet, kj\u00e6rlighet og hensikt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Fedrene fra min fars generasjon vektla overlevelse, disiplin og struktur\u2014behov n\u00e6rmere grunnmuren i Maslows pyramide. Men utviklingen kaller oss oppover. V\u00e5r oppgave som fedre i dag er ikke bare \u00e5 beskytte barnas overlevelse, men \u00e5 n\u00e6re deres helhet. \u00c5 hjelpe dem \u00e5 klatre mot selvrealisering, der de kan oppdage hvem de virkelig er og leve ut av den friheten.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I denne forstand er farsrollen i utvikling\u2014fra \u00e5 vokte grensen til \u00e5 dyrke hagen. Fra \u00e5 gi svar til \u00e5 skape rom for sp\u00f8rsm\u00e5l. Fra \u00e5 h\u00e5ndheve konformitet til \u00e5 styrke individualitet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Og likevel minner sangen oss her ogs\u00e5: barna m\u00e5 ogs\u00e5 l\u00e6re oss. De viser oss nye m\u00e5ter \u00e5 v\u00e6re menneske p\u00e5, m\u00e5ter vi ikke kunne ha forestilt oss alene.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ikke lenge etter de \u00e5rene i dyreparken m\u00f8tte jeg kj\u00e6rligheten i mitt liv\u2014en norsk jente som trodde p\u00e5 meg f\u00f8r jeg fullt ut trodde p\u00e5 meg selv. \u00c5 elske henne ga meg retning. Hun har v\u00e6rt min partner i 34 \u00e5r n\u00e5, jordet meg og st\u00f8ttet meg p\u00e5 veien mot den beste versjonen av meg selv.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Min datter, n\u00e5 33, og min s\u00f8nn, 28, har l\u00e6rt meg like mye som jeg noen gang har l\u00e6rt dem\u2014leksjoner i utholdenhet, kreativitet, humor og kj\u00e6rlighet. \u00c5 se dem bli den de er, har v\u00e6rt den mest ydmykende og givende utdannelsen i mitt liv.<\/p>\n\n\n\n S\u00e5 i dag vil jeg stoppe opp og si takk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Til min far: takk for eksempelet du ga i offer og arbeid. Selv n\u00e5r det ikke s\u00e5 ut som undervisning, var det det.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Til min kone: takk for at du trodde p\u00e5 meg da jeg fortsatt famlet fremover, for at du holdt meg st\u00f8dig, og for at du l\u00e6rte meg hvordan kj\u00e6rlighet kan forvandle et liv.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Til mine barn: takk for latteren, \u00e6rligheten og motet deres. Dere har v\u00e6rt mine st\u00f8rste l\u00e6rere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nesten 40 \u00e5r etter de dagene i dyreparken, hver gang Teach Your Children<\/em> spilles, blir jeg f\u00f8rt tilbake til den hete sommeren i 1986\u2014st\u00f8v i luften, kameler som r\u00f8rte seg rastl\u00f8st, mitt unge jeg som s\u00e5 sm\u00e5tt begynte \u00e5 tro at han kunne ha en plass i verden. Men jeg blir ogs\u00e5 f\u00f8rt fremover, inn i takknemlighet for livet jeg har bygget, leksjonene gitt videre og l\u00e6rt tilbake, og den varige kj\u00e6rligheten til familien.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Musikk har en m\u00e5te \u00e5 oppl\u00f8se tid p\u00e5. En sang kan minne oss om hvem vi var, hvor vi har v\u00e6rt, og hva som betyr mest n\u00e5. Teach Your Children<\/em> minner meg om at ingen av oss er ferdige\u2014at hver generasjon har visdom \u00e5 dele og tilgivelse \u00e5 gi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Hvis vi kan l\u00e6re kj\u00e6rlighet, og v\u00e6re ydmyke nok til \u00e5 l\u00e6re den, da har vi l\u00e6rt v\u00e5re barn godt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pr\u00f8v dette<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Tenk p\u00e5 en sang fra ungdommen din som fortsatt klinger i hjertet ditt. Hva l\u00e6rer den deg n\u00e5, som du ikke kunne ha h\u00f8rt den gang? Og hvordan kan budskapet hjelpe deg \u00e5 \u00e6re fortiden samtidig som det veileder fremtiden\u2014for dine barn, dine foreldre eller deg selv?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Their father’s hell did slowly go by.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nThe Song’s Larger Meaning<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Fathers, Then and Now<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
The one they picked, the one you’ll know by.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nThe Maslow Thread<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
My Own Chain of Learning<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Gratitude<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Closing Reflection<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nTry This<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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<\/figure>\n\n\n\nDyrepark\u00e5rene<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Their father’s hell did slowly go by.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nSangens st\u00f8rre mening<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Fedre, da og n\u00e5<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
The one they picked, the one you’ll know by.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nMaslow-tr\u00e5den<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Min egen l\u00e6ringskjede<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Takknemlighet<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Avsluttende refleksjon<\/h3>\n\n\n\n